"Smile Now Cry Later" Exhibition 2024

Smile Now, Cry Later

Siricasso Garcia

 

Smile Now, Cry Later is a series of 16 paintings exploring my childhood experiences of this cultural phrase I grew up knowing too well. This phrase reminds me of a time when these events were happening. We couldn’t cry, we couldn’t react, we had to just smile through it. But going to jail to talk to our parents, or sacrifice our childhood because of the traumas of systems that criminalize drug addicts and immigrants leaves deep marks. When my mom was deported and I was at the hearing, I wasn’t able to cry because I had been so conditioned not to. These paintings are my way of trying to cry now while paying homage to the aesthetics of Chicano culture and art. 

 

I pulled out journals from my youth to revisit events that scarred me to try to make sense of the pain and change it into something else. As a father, these memories are resurfacing now because my children are reopening my wounds and I’m having to directly confront my pains. When my young kids ask me about their grandparents or other relatives I can’t tell them about the harsh truth yet. These acrylic paintings with colored pencil, paint markers, and watercolor allow me to bring together a mixed-media approach to explore my feelings and let them out on the canvases instead. 

 

I hope this body of work Smile Now, Cry Later spreads awareness about drug abuse, and that the messages shared here inspire us to better support kids who are dealing with anxiety, depression, homelessness, because of parents involved with drug addiction. I’m painting for the kids who have incarcerated parents. I am reminding people it is ok to cry, to let out your emotions instead of keeping it in and putting on that mask.